hey all…back from the relaxing, 70 degree, beautiful beaches of california…it was wonderful. we went to the beach, shopping, hollywood (way ghetto by the way,) and just chilled. ahhh bliss… here are some highlights

this is the view from my aunt nancy’s backyard…hello beautiful! we went there for an amazing dinner…she made these killer orange rolls that i could actually eat (little ball of heaven) just like my grandma use to make. we all made my mom promise that she would make them more often. we had a wonderful time chillin’ with her and my uncle alan, jr and his adorable girls (brunettes that show up on my pages quite frequently.)

it was a blast at the beach…i couldn’t help taking a biggillion pictures of the syd…i really liked this one.

and this one…she just loves the sand!

cute gram and syd.

i think this is a really good picture of nathan and lace…

and the boys….i am pleased to report that paul got wet at the beach…and for all those who know the cleanliness and pauls views on public pools etc…this was quite the big deal.

and then just some goofy shots…i really wish i could smile…but at least my swelling has gone down a ton.

peace friends! heidi lynn

so i was totally stoked that i didn’t keel over at totally t. it tires me when i am going full speed so i was way nervous to teach 4 classes in a row. between each class i went home and just tanked (aka slept like a rock.) it revived me just enough to do the next one. thanks totally t gals for being so understanding! i had wonderful assistants who did all my running work. haley lou was so cute, hillary so hott, and my mother so awesome. a special thank you thank you to my good friend julie…she set up and took down and even stayed to help me in one of my night classes even though she had already worked all day. she totally rocks!

so going to cali today….for a whole week. can’t wait to stay at the beach house, see all the relatives there…hit the beach etc. so if i don’t blog for a bit…don’t worry i didn’t die. peace friends heidi lynn

so it is a couple of days past father’s day…but just wanted to tell him i think he is the bomb diggity and the best dad in the entire universe. here is a little sample of what i made him for father’s day. i love those compedium quote books…but i didn’t want to be totally lame and just give him the book…so i scrap attacked it a little. what do you think! i trimmed down pages and put just the edge strips on it…added some of my fave pics of me and my dad….

also i did a little photo shoot of steph and cj’s charlie and miss syd. they are both so stinkin’ cute.

see all you totally t girls tommorrow and thursday! peace friends heidi lynn

i have gotten so many questions about why the devil would i break my face…lots of people say…you were pretty before…why would you spend the money and go through the pain…well 1st off thanks, but…i soooo did not do this for the looks…i had issues that couldn’t be solved any other way. my jaw grew way crooked and i had an underbite…so…i had a headaches everyday of my life and a migraine probably 3 times a month…which in my book migraine = so painful i loose my sight. also i couldn’t close my mouth…so i was a mouth breather…couldn’t breathe through my nose…because of that i had paper thin gum tissue…so thin i was going to loose my bottom teeth in a couple of years. crazy i know…i have actually been prepping for this surgery for 2 years…it is why i had braces again and gum surgery. now it has only been 16 days since my surgery, but i can already close my mouth and breathe through my nose…which for me is absolutely amazing.

the next question i get is…what did they actually do to you. it seems really crazy to think about but…they took my top jaw and cut off of my skull and and cut away 5 to 7mm off the top of my jaw…they also broke it into 3 pieces (in a Y shape) and then screwed back together onto my skull straight. then they took out 3mm off each side of my bottom jaw and 5mm chunk out of my chin. i have a total of 36 screws and 7 titanium plates in my face where they will stay for the rest of my life. they stop being of any use after 8 weeks but who wants to go through surgery again to get them taken out. from my nose to my chin 1/2″ was taken off in length. so i look a little different. when i have the swelling down, i will do a before and after pic.

i am doing really good…tired and weak which is super lame…but the pain is almost completely gone. i have been able to get out a little, and i am def. going to be at totally t next week. can’t wait to see all my ladies. seriously thanks to all those who have been so sweet and concerned. every nice comment on my blog is like candy to me (oh how i wish i could chew!) peace friends! heidi lynn

doesn’t look like the glorious picture of the cup was enough. so here is a couple more details on how life is. well, i am eating mushy stuff that can slide right down, like eggs, oatmeal, mac and cheese (spiral of course) and loads of jamba juice (if anyone needs advice on flavors i have tried a lot of them) it seems to have helped a ton to have actual food going down and not broth and liquids. i get full super fast. my goal is to try to get down 800 calories…i never thought i would say this but…that is way hard. because of my lack of appetite i have lost 14 pounds and it seems it isn’t stopping. i liked the 1st 10 coming off…but i hope the other pounds come back once i start eating more normally. i get more and more feeling in my face everyday. i have part of my chin and bottom lip still kinda numb and part of my nose still numb. i don’t think they will stay that way because i get tinglings in those areas. it feels like when your foot falls asleep…doesn’t really hurt…but kinda annoying. i am totally off hardcore drugs since last thursday….which i think also has helped me get better. so thats good. i am now bored out of my mind sitting around all day, but i am still weak…my doctor keeps telling me to be patient because i lost a ton of blood during the surgery and it takes time for your body to make it. i just have never been the sit around type of girl so i am a little flustered. i have a major lisp because of all the rubberbands in my mouth, but at least people seem to understand me. i think the thing i want most is to be able to smile again. here are some pics….my mother insists she sees the new me. what you think? thanks to everyone who has been super nice and concerned and made me feel so not worthy because of all the kindness. it is really nice to hear from everyone. peace friends heidi lynn

i have conquered….the cup!

no more syringe. totally stoked!

congrats steph!! charles iv is adorable!!! peace friends heidi lynn

it has been a week! life is lookin up…i had a pretty good day yesterday…i even got to eat amazing mash potatoes and gravy made by my mother and wonderful scrambled eggs made by the boy named paulie. We just made sure they were a little creamier and they slid right down. it feels so good not to be eating ensure every meal. i don’t think i will be eating/drinking that for a long, long time. i have pretty much weened myself off the hardcore drugs…just once in the morning when i wake up, for some reason i can’t wake up feeling great. i try not to sleep anywhere on my face…but is so hard! anyhoo…thought this was better pick then other ones i have been posting. peace friends! heidi lynn

holy hannah my face! can’t believe one part of the body can make you feel sooo not good. i have so many things that are not cool with this…but then i have so many blessings it doesn’t seem right to complain. so i thought if i didn’t equal blessings and complaints it would be okay…

i hate…

1. totally hate my face hurts soooo bad. it is like your whole face is on fire. but you can’t proof really. there are no crazy scars or anything…not that i want those…but still it is so much easier to show off a battle wound.

2. i hate that drugs that actually work are addicting and slow down the healing so they really don’t want you to take them. i don’t want them if they slow down healing…but honestly make an adult liquid advil…not deluded children nastiness. i feel sorry for kids who have to take it.

3. i hate not being able to enjoy food. i don’t even want to eat because it hurts. i totally understand why people loose so much weight. i have been averaging like 3-400 calories…it is so hard to eat and yet again…you can’t get better if you don’t eat.

4. i hate being so weak…i stand up and take a shower for like 3 minutes and i am totally wasted. I got vitamins now with iron and stuff to give me more energy, they say it is because of all the blood loss

5. i hate the sticky stuff on my face that is next to impossible to get off. From the bandages holding my chin in place for the 1st couple of days, it left this gorilla strength stickiness, that comes off only when the press to hard on my broken face.

6. I hate that i am stuck at home being a total blob. people going to work, visiting friends, having too much to do, are so lucky! i wish i was stressed out more then being a slug.

7. i hate that i have to wait so long to see the results, they took a total of 10mm of length off my face and i can’t even tell…i am too much of a puffy, fluffy face. i have to re introduce myself to myself every morning. so weird. and now i look like somebody colored yellow highlighter all over my face because of the bruises healing.

8. being burden on friends and family. i hate having to ask for help for every move i make. i couldn’t believe how independent i was. now it is can you help me up i need to go the bathroom, hey would blend my food, hey will you get me a paper towel and wipe my drool mouth…etc. so not fun.

things that i love!

1. my family and friends who don’t care that i am a total burden. they honestly have been so amazing i can’t even believe it. they don’t care they have to wipe vasiline on all my sores and lips, they don’t care they have to help me to the shower…they are absolutely awesome. my mom comes daily just to be bored with me. i even had a couple of visits from miss syd…who ways “ohhh” and points to my face and then smiles…she seems to even know not to touch my face.

2. flowers….everytime i get flowers it makes me so happy, something so pretty and happy that i can look at when i am not feeling so happy or so pretty.

3. the girls at scrapbooks etc who got me the magic bullet blender thing….it is amazing!! i love it! it was so stinkin’ thoughtful i can’t even believe it.

4. scrubs. nobody expects me to look amazing, so i don’t have to do my hair, make up, pick out something to wear…etc. my biggest choice is what color of scrubs do i want to wear. they are wonderful and comfortable and i am jealous of people who wear them everyday to work.

5. i love that my surgery went better then even expected. i love that i have feeling and that i am not even more of a drooling mess. patches of feeling come back everyday.

6. i love this syringe thingy…it is amazing! i have like 8 other smaller syringes for food and medicine intake…that are not as near as amazing as this one is. it has a rubber tip thing and it is large and in charge…they would only give me one. oh well…now this one gets all the love.

7. Heat pads. it helps my face feel sooo much better. it like chills out the huge nerve in my face. awww bliss.

8. a boy named paulie. he is so awesome. he doesn’t care that i wake him up in the middle of night…he doesn’t care that he has to do everything, laundry, dishes…all the food. he tells me i am pretty like 500 times a day…and claims he has a trophy wife. he worries about me constantly and loves me so much. he is so amazing.

thanks for comments…paulie keeps telling me all the people that ask about me and tell me they are thinking of me. it makes me want to be more like that…peace friends heidi lynn

i am okay! thanks for so much support. i can’t believe how sweet everyone has been. it has def. been a roller coaster, but i am so glad to be out of the hospital and home in my own bed. i can’t talk very well, can’t stand up for very long, and I now understand how people lose weight doing this, but I feel so much better then I did. i couldn’t remember anything the day of my surgery…so weird. i am going to put some pics of myself up…don’t be alarmed it looks worse then it really is. i think i look like a monkey, but my darling husband still says i am beautiful, what a guy! they had to stretch my mouth open really wide to get to everything, so that is the sores on the side of my mouth…they actually took my entire top jaw off of my skull to saw it down 5 to 7 mm. crazy!

this is about 2 hours after my surgery…ewww

this is doc masters cutting off my hat thing the second day…love the hair

right after taking the hat thing off…again..if you need styling tips just let me know

this is yesterday…i went to the bathroom all by myself and had a shower…what a wonderful feeling!

so i look way better now…and i am feelin way better now. thanks so much for the support it makes me feel so great! they say this will all be worth it. peace friends